Trying to be a Perfect Christian

I’m living my life trying to be a perfect christian.  I think it’s doable.  I want to try at least.  I want to be perfect for God.  I think it’s worth trying to be as perfect as I possibly can be.  I think following the commandments is doable.  Loving God with all your heart mind and soul, and lovings others as you love yourself is doable.   In the Bible there is a passage where Jesus tells a rich man that after following the commandments, to be perfect, to sell all his riches and give to the poor and he would have riches in heaven.

So thats what it means to be perfect.  Follow the commandments and sell your things and give to the poor.  I think selling everything and giving to the poor is a tough pill to swallow.  Living on nothing but faith is a little bit scary.  Maybe not all of us are called to be perfect.  Living your life without any worldly goods is scary.  I’m going to be honest, I tried to do this.  I felt called by God to sell all my things and give to the poor and to churches.  I sold almost everything and gave away most of my money.  As far as the world is concerned they think I am crazy.  My wife and family thought I went crazy.  It didn’t go well for me in the world.  It put a lot of financial strain on my wife, (who left me after I got sick).  I did all this because I had a waking vision by God to use the money from my business to build a church.  I didn’t do as I was told.  Instead I got rid of the business and sold mostly everything I had earned from it and gave to the poor.  I’ll admit when I was doing this I wasn’t in the most sane of minds.  I had a lot of stuff happening to me.  I had just started getting attacked by the enemy and I was trying to do what I felt God wanted me to do to close doors that the enemy was using to attack me.

So here I am, poor monetarily, but rich in the things of God.  I live to be used by God.   I am currently on disability.  I’m not well.  I can’t hold down a job quite yet.  I have some of the money left over from selling my house that I am going to use to build a church.  I want to be a pastor and spend my life bringing people to Jesus.  The enemy that is attacking me tells me that according to God I am a perfect christian.  I hope and wish this could be true.  All of my suffering and hardship will be worthwhile if that was the case.

If I am perfect, how can I keep that perfection?  Do I need to stay poor the rest of my life?  Right now I live off of about $1800 per month.  I don’t need much.  If I just cover my bills and have a little bit left over to save for life’s happenings that would be good.

I believe that God got me here.  I don’t think I could have done what I did on my own.  The cost of losing all of my worldly goods was a great deal.  I really hurt my wife whom I love with all my heart mind and soul.  She isn’t Christian and me becoming a born again christian was just too much for her to handle.  She is a scientist, and spirituality is just not something she can sink her teeth into.  I started getting attacked by the enemy and told to use my money to build a church.

So I did it in the best way I could fathom at the time.  I couldn’t have done everything I did without the support of my wife.  And if I had it all to do over again I would have done it differently.  But here I am following the commandments and living without the worlds goods.  I am trying to be a perfect Christian.  I will keep doing so for the rest of my life.